AFICIONADA

Everybody who knows me, knows that I LOVE magazines! My earliest collection were Teen Beat and BOP! hahaha I don't see those anymore! You would see my room plastered with Brad Renfro's Posters, Jonathan Jackson posters in my cabinet, and all the teeny boppers you could imagine! (no offense)

I could say I got a little mature when I got hold of my first YM magazine and Seventeen. For a time, I preferred YM over Seventeen. From 1997-1999 I was buying every issue. Every month I was spending almost 200 hundred pesos for just that. When we went to the US, I bought every single teen mag I could. I remembered I bought one YM, one Teen Magazine and Two Teen People. You could imagine all the money (my parents) I disbursed in buying those "imported" mags. I only stopped when Candy came out, then finally Seventeen Philippines.

My mom even got me a subscription to Seventeen and Candy since I was buying every month, and it was more practical and a little less cheaper to have subscribed.

I eventually had to give up Candy coz I couldn't anymore relate to some of their articles. But then, I liked one issue, then got hooked and bought it every month again.

And I have this obsession of making sure it doesn't get any creases. That's why if you see my stock of magazines, you will still see it in very good condition. Everyone who borrows my magazines knows that rule, to be careful in flipping the pages.

My dad's been bugging me to get rid of all the other magazines. But I can't part ways with them. Not my magazines.

So anyone with all this obsession would be the happiest if one of her favorite magazines features her as their Blogger of the Month!

















So please share my joy and get a copy!

I almost forgot, thanks to Huael who left a message in the tag board.

The only thing that is not nice about this experience is I couldn't get a copy myself. I couldn't experience the thrill of going to the store and look for the magazine, open it, and find the page where this blog is featured. But I'm coming home before this month ends, so I hope I could still do that.

Anyways, it's not like an article I made was published.

But hey, I think it could be considered something like that. And this is my moment! hahaha

So get yourself a copy, and could you tell me which entry did they include.

Thanks Chinggay!

YOU LIVE, YOU LEARN, YOU CHOOSE

I have a few weeks left. I am going back home. And it's been a great experience.

I have realized my potentials, my limits, and my goals. Although not so clear with my goals yet, but I'm there.

There we're emotional baggages that I finally unpacked. It was a journey not everybody was given the chance to take. I'm going home with a few important lessons learned.

I learned that there is no place like home. That in as much as I always say I'm independent, well, I had no idea!

I learned that the friends you have in the ups and downs, no matter how busy and distant you are, will make their presence felt in every little way they can. And how much important to have these people to have specially when you are miles apart.

I learned that everything is a choice. Nobody expects you to always make the right ones, but I think you owe it to yourself to make your choice the right one for you.

I learned to appreciate. Not only what I have, but what those have given me. What those have made me.

I learned that not only does distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes it stronger, more patient and more kind.

I learned how sometimes a simple remark can be so meaningful it changes everything you thought you've already decided on.

I learned that that although there is still so much for me to learn, to experience, I believe I've grown up. I may still like reading Seventeen and will miss watching Laguna Beach, but I have come of age. But I hope MTV Pinas will have Laguna Beach.

I learned that what I really like and love doing is there all along, I just didn't recognize it then.

I learned to look at the other side. There are two-sides in every story.

I learned why the tenth commmandment is You shall not covet your neighbor's house, nor his wife, his man-servant, his maid-servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

I learned that there is a reason for everything, and life has its own way of putting back things in its proper places.

And with that, I think this year is the end of the beginning.

OF CHEATING AND FULFILLMENT

I am fooling myself. I am cheating on my diet. I had eaten ice cream tonight. It was so good, I am not even guilty of having one. One of the best ice cream I've had in my 20+ years.
I'm sorry Kaye, but I had to have those. So no more claiming, Im on a diet. But I'll still continue to not eat carbs.

I've been busy doing my cousin's invites and souvenirs for her Christening. Tita has been worried I've done so much work and it might be tiring me, I said worry not, because I'm enjoying it.

I think this is a dream for semi-OC's like me. I made labels, I had to cut ribbons, the translucent paper, the works, had to make sure everything was not wrinkled, the works. And it has been like cooking for me..that fulfilling. I may sound crazy but, I did have fun.

I also painted for the souvenirs, we're giving boxes for the Godparents, and a pink paper-mache t-shirt for the other guests. I'll post pictures after its all done.

Was telling Jog, I think I've put so much in this project, I might not have anymore for the future use. hehehe

So that's how this week is going, I'm enjoying it, but the downside of this is, I haven't been able to read. *sigh*

PUMPKIN PATCH

I was excited to go to my first pumpkin patch. But we we're kinda disappointed to

see that it was not up to our expectations. But to make the most out of it, I took a lot of pictures..

It was my first time to see a donkey, a sheep, and a yak!

I'm 20+ old and it was my first time to see these creatures! my fav was the yak!

I can't believe i wrote about that drama last week! ick! But that's part of me..

I'm a little busy with Zoe's Christening, as I designated myself to prepare the souvenirs and invitations.

I'm done with the invites, but still not even started with the souvenirs.

But I'm sure it will be done before this week ends.

I had this interesting conversation with my tita last saturday, and it deserves another post.

unwell

I don't know why.

Excuse me, but I think I owe it to myself to be HONEST.
To recognize how I really feel and not how I suppose to feel.
I wanna be free from this consuming feeling.
I wanna be who I am.

It's hard to let go.
It's hard to mean it when you say, "It's ok".

I'm trying, really I am.
I guess I'm just not that mabait.

PEACE BE WITH ME

so?

I was about to write something,stopped myself from doing so.
NO JUDGEMENTS!

Anyway, this week has been devoted to shopping and eating less.

Went shopping last tuesday for pasalubongs and some personal must haves.
I went home with a lotta stuff and maybe 60$ poorer.
shiet.

I'm really excited to go home, but at the same time, couldn't help but think about
the possibility of living here. Well I guess that was the purpose of my being here in
the first place. To consider a lot about my future, to start thinking about it.
And I guess, I will decide on that soon.

I put myself on a diet, again!
I just can't believe how much weight I gained, so I needed to start now. It's my 6th day today,
and so far, I have managed to stick to it, and I've been stricter. I never thought I could be like
that to myself.

I have also been watching too much SATC, i missed it, but this week has been an overload!

My sister's the happiest these days, because she got what she wanted. Actually, more than what she wanted...
a Nano iPod. and i can't wait to borrow it! hahaha

so, that's all for me.

have a good weekend everyone!

can you keep a secret?

finished the book. i hope it becomes a movie! and to everyone who likes reading chick lit, to those who haven't read this, this is a must-read!

it's funny and honest. female readers could easily relate to the book. and how men should watch out!hahaha

In her Shoes: second hand: $4 :very good condition >>haha! im not selling one, but that's what i got today over at Walnut Creek's Bonanza St. Books.

I was originally looking for Oprah's new recommendation, A Million Little Pieces, because i read the excerpts from oprah.com and it was good. i think it's a hard-to-put-down-book. But i couldn't find one, and my feet led me to the used books section, the paperbacks, and i couldn't believe there was the book, on the top shelf for half the original price, and in very good condition.

and i can't wait to start reading the book.so bye!

chef at heart

i started cooking when i was in highschool. i liked it, but i also needed to do it. since we decided not to get any "help" anymore since we 3 children, all went to school all day, and since we don't have a big house, we could just all pitch in to do the other chores.

so anyway, i did enjoy,making our everyday family dinners. i sucked at it at first of course, but through the course of time and with a lot of watching of cooking shows, i think i've improved.

when we we're in 4th year highschool, being in an all-girls school, we had T.H.E. (Techonology and Home Economics), and for the first part of the year, we we're thought of cooking, making preserves, making itlog na pula and all. but i always looked forward to the second part of the term, where i knew we would be baking.
we didn't have an oven at that time, so i couldnt make all what we learned at home. but it was enough for me to learn, and take note of what should be done or not. what makes a cookie tough, and what makes the pie crust crispy.

it was just recently my mom bought an oven, after all theses years i've been bugging her to get me one. (see, that's because we have a tiny house)

so to test drive (is that the correct term?) the new oven. i was excited to make cookies. i baked my first chocolate chip cookies. and it was a success! i was telling jog today, how stupid i was not to take pictures of all the goodies i baked! like my first chocolate cake, my blueberry cheesecake, my oatmeal cookies, and just recently here, my banana bread, and sugar cookies. so from now on, i should take pictures, since, i'm always trying on new recipes, so everytime, its my first.

so why all these? it's just now that i've realized, that aside from enjoying just watching cooking shows, i really really love to cook and bake. it gives me peace of mind, comfort and sort of control. i know, it may sound so silly, and weird for some, but i guess, when you do something that you really like, and you enjoy doing, it will always give you the feeling of what i have just described.(i don't know how to call it)

initially, i wanted to call this entry "too early to call it "passion" but then, i've just remembered Oprah saying "Your true passion should feel like breathing...its that natural". So i guess, i've found one of my passions.

it's just my thing

i don't know if i should consider myself OC, because if you see our room ( i share it with my sister), it's not squeky clean, and unorganized. but when it ocmes to my magazines, notebooks, books, it should not have any creases or i cannot sleep thinking why i let it happen.

i also keep a list on everything. things i need to buy, things i like to buy, things i should have, books i have, books i've read,shoes i have,life goals, and the list go on.

last night, i had this bad dream about my shoes, shoes i left home. one of my favorite shoes was torn and can never be worn daw. it was a nightmare! so the next day, i emailed my sister to check, and if she could put it in my cabinet, cause i remember i did not put them in their boxes. so i hope my shoes are doin fine.

i make my own bookmark. i usally make them out of my magazine subscription card, and i don't make the usual size. i usually like it rectangular shape.

i go all the trouble to do all these things, i know!
but as simple as it all may sound, whenever i am able to do these, it makes me happy.
babaw!

you disgrace me, you disgrace yourself

how many times a day do we judge other people?
i usually do, and i'm not proud of it.
i don't have any excuse, and i think, nobody has a good excuse for such a thing.
we know its not a good thing to do, but we still do, unconciously or not.

we are all guilty of discriminating each other.
it happens all over the world.
we don't treat each other with respect.
that is why there is so much hate, there is so much anger.

if we just take a little time from our lives, and also care about other people.
maybe there is a little hope to end discrimination.

if we can only think about every action we take, and how it can affect not only our lives,
but of others too. then maybe, we could not worry about what kind of world the next generation will inherit from us.

and it doesn't surprise me, how just a little act of kindness could make such big difference.
because our hearts never forget.

watch Crash. you'll understand, why suddenly i wrote all of these.

when you're happy and bored

three names you go by:
1. k9
2. kenan
3. kathleen

three screen names you have had:
1. stylechild
2. imogen
3. crazybeautiful

three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. chinese
3. yun lang ata

three things that scare you:
1. muscles
2. daga
3. natural calamities

three of your everyday essentials:
1.lipbalm
2. water
3. cellphone

three of your favorite musical artists:
1. eraserheads
2. alanis morisette
3. usher

your favorite songs
1. she will be loved
2. let's stay together
3. kiss from a rose
4. ang huling el bimbo
5. barely breathing

three things you want in a relationship:
1. security
2. respect
3. trust

three lies and one truth in no particular order:
1. i don't find kevin federline cute
2. i love kris aquino
3. i love avocado
4. i'm a good singer

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. legs
2. neck
3. nunal

WEIRD

i'm such a weirdo.
i'm not sure if i have written this before, but SHE WILL BE LOVED makes me cry.sobra.
i'm usually teary eyed first stanza pa lang.
i know. crazy.
then there was, the south border song..ano nga ba yun?
Wherever you are. hay naku! especially when i watched their video, lalo ako naiyak.
i'm laughing while i'm writing this,kasi naman,kaloka.
before it was butterfly kisses.

what's weird is, i can't explain and find any reason why i cry with these songs.

FOGGY MORNING
















see the difference?

babies

i just love how they smell!

yesterday, at 10:20pm my Tita Mona gave birth to a cute and BIG princess
Zoe Katriel. BIG, cause she weighed 8 lbs and 20 inches. I am so excited, but was too afraid to carry her. I know how fragile babies are, and im not so used to carrying new born babies. But they said i had to "practice". well, i gave it a shot, and it was a whoa moment! I could smell her and she is just so cute with siopao cheeks! I didnt want to put her down anymore.

I sent my parents the pictures, Tito Randy emailed friends and relatives, and I'm sure everyone from Manila wants to see our new princess.

Nate was actually cool. We expected he would want to get the attention, but he kissed and talked to Zoe. When she cried, he said "whats the matter baby girl?". And then he said, "babies don't talk" hahaha! i know, he's just so adorable.

My Tita had a hard time during labor, and Tito Randy told me " Ngayon naiintindihan ko na may karapatan talagang magalit ng husto ang mga nanay pag lapastangan ang anak nila...sa hirap ng pangangak.."

But for now, i guess we all just have to enjoy the smell, the joys and pains of having a baby in the house.

emmy's 2005

just finished watching the emmy's.

i'm happy that felicity huffman won for best actress in a comedy series. and her speech was just awwww. you could see how proud in her husband was while she was giving her acceptance speech.

Eva Longoria was stunning. She looks like a barbie.




















lost won, and everybody loves raymond!! just right after tony shalhoub teased ray romano for losing the best actor in a comedy series category, saying " there's always next year, well, except for Ray Romano". well deserved for everybody loves raymond...10 years! sa last season pa nila nakuha. sweet success!

and my best dressed list...


Alyson Hannigan


Eva Longoria


Marcia Cross


Debra Messing


Mischa Barton

PHOTOS: Yahoo!TV

chismis galore

could not help myself but read and watch tsismis!

the other day, Britney gave birth to Sean Presley Federline. According to EXTRA, her room was $20,000 a night, and she hired a personal chef. they also rented 10 other rooms for their family and friends. well, she can afford it!

tommorow will be Oprah's season premiere with Jennifer Aniston as her guest, i think it will be a week-long season premiere, with a lot of hollywood stars as her guests this week. and i'm guessing they changed their studio design. i couldnt wait to watch it.

was browing the internet when....

NEXT ATTRACTION


it will be shown on December 2005, and im just so happy i'll be home by that time.salamat.

and....



but it will be a long wait, kasi its on May 17,2006 pa daw in Manila.

oh well, and Goblet of Fire naman on November.

so many movies to watch out for. im excited.

lastly, i took this friday afternoon.


my tita has my favorite flower and pink,yellow,and white roses in their garden. beautiful.

Pangalan

if every girl dreams about their wedding everyday, I have been writing and keeping my future children's names everytime i find one. hahaha!

as in! and everyone who knows me, from highschool can attest to that! basta, ewan, i just wanna be prepared and i want to give nice names lang talaga.

and im not sharing.hahaha! kahit kanino..ay except for Mira.hahaha. so Mira, you cant use my names, and i wont use yours. hahaha

so far, i have, like 16 names for girls, and 4 for boys. thats not actually acurate, kasi i have my other notebook sa manila,which has the other names i have collected since birth! hehehe and i have 2 unisex names.

but im in no rush to have babies ok.baka some will get the wrong impression.

im just obsessive about it.

random thoughts...so random,its not worth reading

was watching the season premiere of Gilmore Girls, when i got to watch the commercial of the new iPod... the nano iPod, which i believe is as light as a paper. whew!

and while reading my Nigella Lawson's book, i wonder what if i did take up culinary arts? hmmm
but hey, i still have time. i can take up culinary arts one day...i will

and i am currently in love with this songs...

And I
Know that he wont break my heart
And I
Know that we wont ever part
Its time, time for us to settle down
And I
Wanna be with him forever

I love you
And all of the things that you do
Oh baby please
I need you (I need you)
So believe me (I do)I do (oOoOOo)
Cause I love you (I love you)
And every lil thing baby (you do)
No no OoO whooOooa OooOo
They don't know how I feel
Cause I know this is real

and this..even though i couldn't relate to this song, i just love gwen

And after all the obstaclesI
t's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been throughI know we're cool

cool!

have a good one everyone!

mortals

i was crying the whole time when i watched Oprah's special on the Katrina victims.
i am no American, but i felt their pain.
i felt humanitty.
i remember Oprah saying, " you can smell death"
i watched as Julia Roberts, hugged and tried to comfort the refugees. and how a simple hug can make a difference.
and at these times, we owe it to our lives to help.

Taking chances

I am no relationship expert, but I do know what I have learned, and I think I have learned quite a few.

When relationships ends…

Some makes you obsessive.
Some makes you cry at three in the morning, 4 days after the break up.
Some makes you don’t eat your favorite sandwich, just because it’s his favorite too.
Some unleashes the bad side of you.
Some makes you make every song, your song.
Some makes you hate every couple you see.
And it could go on and on.

It takes time before you realize it’s not the end of the world. And there are more important things to be done.

I have been in those relationships; I have been through sad, hurtful break-ups. And I think that's why, a lot of us, have that post relationship im-so-scared-of-getting-hurt-again syndrome.

But looking back, I think I never had that.

The scared of getting hurt again part.
I am impulsive most of the time when it comes to matters of the heart.
Because I have always thought that you can never make precautionary measures,

falling in love is never pain-proof.

That it’s always a gamble.

You will never know, unless you’d be brave enough to know that it will surely hurt.

That’s why; I am so baffled, at why I am so scared now?
I am so scared, I cannot even admit to myself, that yes we are happy, I am very happy, and yes, it is possible to be this happy and at the same time have the most un-perfect relationship.

I am so scared to label our relationship, to label us. To label that this relationship is working out the way it should be and I could see a bit of the future.

I am so afraid to use the word might. Or even hope, because it feels like I’m pre-empting the future. I guess it’s because I have so much belief with fate. So much faith, that I am willing to deprive myself of the happiness the stability of our relationship gives. Just so I won’t be too assured, and later on suffer from the possibility that this might not still be it. Cause is there anyone, in a relationship right now, that wouldn’t want this to be it? And I hate that, that I am so careful about feeling that bliss. That feeling, which who knows I won’t be able to feel again, in this lifetime, with the same person or not.

I guess this one is just so important to me, I don’t want to gamble. I don’t want to take chances, and that I am so careful, that even if I know we are working hard for this relationship to be at its best happy state, I don’t really want to plan ahead. Even if Oprah says we have a good thing going on. It’s best if we take it one day at a time. Be patient and wait.

There’s no doubt that I have a great man with me. Journeying with me, making the most out of what we have and what have we have been through. He is doing his part at his best. He has been with me during the happiest and lowest points of my life, has been understanding and supportive, and most importantly, loves the best and the ugliest parts of me.

I am not scared of getting hurt. I am scared that I might give too much pressure in this relationship, the minute I say, this is it, and it will be doomed. I am so scared, that I will do something that will make this relationship not to be it. But will my being so careful help to prevent anything that may cause the relationship? I don’t think so. That’s why it’s so scary. Because, in the end, it may be not just about the two of you, but what was meant to be.

How does one know if the relationship they are in now is it? They say, you just know. In the middle of all this, I possibly know the answer. And I’m just so chicken to admit it and say it out loud.

What I do know now is what to answer when one day somebody would ask me, what makes Jog special? Jog is special because, he has taught me to know my battles, love with courage and unconditionally. And if only for that, I should worry no more.