YOU LIVE, YOU LEARN, YOU CHOOSE

I have a few weeks left. I am going back home. And it's been a great experience.

I have realized my potentials, my limits, and my goals. Although not so clear with my goals yet, but I'm there.

There we're emotional baggages that I finally unpacked. It was a journey not everybody was given the chance to take. I'm going home with a few important lessons learned.

I learned that there is no place like home. That in as much as I always say I'm independent, well, I had no idea!

I learned that the friends you have in the ups and downs, no matter how busy and distant you are, will make their presence felt in every little way they can. And how much important to have these people to have specially when you are miles apart.

I learned that everything is a choice. Nobody expects you to always make the right ones, but I think you owe it to yourself to make your choice the right one for you.

I learned to appreciate. Not only what I have, but what those have given me. What those have made me.

I learned that not only does distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes it stronger, more patient and more kind.

I learned how sometimes a simple remark can be so meaningful it changes everything you thought you've already decided on.

I learned that that although there is still so much for me to learn, to experience, I believe I've grown up. I may still like reading Seventeen and will miss watching Laguna Beach, but I have come of age. But I hope MTV Pinas will have Laguna Beach.

I learned that what I really like and love doing is there all along, I just didn't recognize it then.

I learned to look at the other side. There are two-sides in every story.

I learned why the tenth commmandment is You shall not covet your neighbor's house, nor his wife, his man-servant, his maid-servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

I learned that there is a reason for everything, and life has its own way of putting back things in its proper places.

And with that, I think this year is the end of the beginning.

OF CHEATING AND FULFILLMENT

I am fooling myself. I am cheating on my diet. I had eaten ice cream tonight. It was so good, I am not even guilty of having one. One of the best ice cream I've had in my 20+ years.
I'm sorry Kaye, but I had to have those. So no more claiming, Im on a diet. But I'll still continue to not eat carbs.

I've been busy doing my cousin's invites and souvenirs for her Christening. Tita has been worried I've done so much work and it might be tiring me, I said worry not, because I'm enjoying it.

I think this is a dream for semi-OC's like me. I made labels, I had to cut ribbons, the translucent paper, the works, had to make sure everything was not wrinkled, the works. And it has been like cooking for me..that fulfilling. I may sound crazy but, I did have fun.

I also painted for the souvenirs, we're giving boxes for the Godparents, and a pink paper-mache t-shirt for the other guests. I'll post pictures after its all done.

Was telling Jog, I think I've put so much in this project, I might not have anymore for the future use. hehehe

So that's how this week is going, I'm enjoying it, but the downside of this is, I haven't been able to read. *sigh*

PUMPKIN PATCH

I was excited to go to my first pumpkin patch. But we we're kinda disappointed to

see that it was not up to our expectations. But to make the most out of it, I took a lot of pictures..

It was my first time to see a donkey, a sheep, and a yak!

I'm 20+ old and it was my first time to see these creatures! my fav was the yak!

I can't believe i wrote about that drama last week! ick! But that's part of me..

I'm a little busy with Zoe's Christening, as I designated myself to prepare the souvenirs and invitations.

I'm done with the invites, but still not even started with the souvenirs.

But I'm sure it will be done before this week ends.

I had this interesting conversation with my tita last saturday, and it deserves another post.

unwell

I don't know why.

Excuse me, but I think I owe it to myself to be HONEST.
To recognize how I really feel and not how I suppose to feel.
I wanna be free from this consuming feeling.
I wanna be who I am.

It's hard to let go.
It's hard to mean it when you say, "It's ok".

I'm trying, really I am.
I guess I'm just not that mabait.

PEACE BE WITH ME

so?

I was about to write something,stopped myself from doing so.
NO JUDGEMENTS!

Anyway, this week has been devoted to shopping and eating less.

Went shopping last tuesday for pasalubongs and some personal must haves.
I went home with a lotta stuff and maybe 60$ poorer.
shiet.

I'm really excited to go home, but at the same time, couldn't help but think about
the possibility of living here. Well I guess that was the purpose of my being here in
the first place. To consider a lot about my future, to start thinking about it.
And I guess, I will decide on that soon.

I put myself on a diet, again!
I just can't believe how much weight I gained, so I needed to start now. It's my 6th day today,
and so far, I have managed to stick to it, and I've been stricter. I never thought I could be like
that to myself.

I have also been watching too much SATC, i missed it, but this week has been an overload!

My sister's the happiest these days, because she got what she wanted. Actually, more than what she wanted...
a Nano iPod. and i can't wait to borrow it! hahaha

so, that's all for me.

have a good weekend everyone!

can you keep a secret?

finished the book. i hope it becomes a movie! and to everyone who likes reading chick lit, to those who haven't read this, this is a must-read!

it's funny and honest. female readers could easily relate to the book. and how men should watch out!hahaha

In her Shoes: second hand: $4 :very good condition >>haha! im not selling one, but that's what i got today over at Walnut Creek's Bonanza St. Books.

I was originally looking for Oprah's new recommendation, A Million Little Pieces, because i read the excerpts from oprah.com and it was good. i think it's a hard-to-put-down-book. But i couldn't find one, and my feet led me to the used books section, the paperbacks, and i couldn't believe there was the book, on the top shelf for half the original price, and in very good condition.

and i can't wait to start reading the book.so bye!

chef at heart

i started cooking when i was in highschool. i liked it, but i also needed to do it. since we decided not to get any "help" anymore since we 3 children, all went to school all day, and since we don't have a big house, we could just all pitch in to do the other chores.

so anyway, i did enjoy,making our everyday family dinners. i sucked at it at first of course, but through the course of time and with a lot of watching of cooking shows, i think i've improved.

when we we're in 4th year highschool, being in an all-girls school, we had T.H.E. (Techonology and Home Economics), and for the first part of the year, we we're thought of cooking, making preserves, making itlog na pula and all. but i always looked forward to the second part of the term, where i knew we would be baking.
we didn't have an oven at that time, so i couldnt make all what we learned at home. but it was enough for me to learn, and take note of what should be done or not. what makes a cookie tough, and what makes the pie crust crispy.

it was just recently my mom bought an oven, after all theses years i've been bugging her to get me one. (see, that's because we have a tiny house)

so to test drive (is that the correct term?) the new oven. i was excited to make cookies. i baked my first chocolate chip cookies. and it was a success! i was telling jog today, how stupid i was not to take pictures of all the goodies i baked! like my first chocolate cake, my blueberry cheesecake, my oatmeal cookies, and just recently here, my banana bread, and sugar cookies. so from now on, i should take pictures, since, i'm always trying on new recipes, so everytime, its my first.

so why all these? it's just now that i've realized, that aside from enjoying just watching cooking shows, i really really love to cook and bake. it gives me peace of mind, comfort and sort of control. i know, it may sound so silly, and weird for some, but i guess, when you do something that you really like, and you enjoy doing, it will always give you the feeling of what i have just described.(i don't know how to call it)

initially, i wanted to call this entry "too early to call it "passion" but then, i've just remembered Oprah saying "Your true passion should feel like breathing...its that natural". So i guess, i've found one of my passions.

it's just my thing

i don't know if i should consider myself OC, because if you see our room ( i share it with my sister), it's not squeky clean, and unorganized. but when it ocmes to my magazines, notebooks, books, it should not have any creases or i cannot sleep thinking why i let it happen.

i also keep a list on everything. things i need to buy, things i like to buy, things i should have, books i have, books i've read,shoes i have,life goals, and the list go on.

last night, i had this bad dream about my shoes, shoes i left home. one of my favorite shoes was torn and can never be worn daw. it was a nightmare! so the next day, i emailed my sister to check, and if she could put it in my cabinet, cause i remember i did not put them in their boxes. so i hope my shoes are doin fine.

i make my own bookmark. i usally make them out of my magazine subscription card, and i don't make the usual size. i usually like it rectangular shape.

i go all the trouble to do all these things, i know!
but as simple as it all may sound, whenever i am able to do these, it makes me happy.
babaw!

you disgrace me, you disgrace yourself

how many times a day do we judge other people?
i usually do, and i'm not proud of it.
i don't have any excuse, and i think, nobody has a good excuse for such a thing.
we know its not a good thing to do, but we still do, unconciously or not.

we are all guilty of discriminating each other.
it happens all over the world.
we don't treat each other with respect.
that is why there is so much hate, there is so much anger.

if we just take a little time from our lives, and also care about other people.
maybe there is a little hope to end discrimination.

if we can only think about every action we take, and how it can affect not only our lives,
but of others too. then maybe, we could not worry about what kind of world the next generation will inherit from us.

and it doesn't surprise me, how just a little act of kindness could make such big difference.
because our hearts never forget.

watch Crash. you'll understand, why suddenly i wrote all of these.

when you're happy and bored

three names you go by:
1. k9
2. kenan
3. kathleen

three screen names you have had:
1. stylechild
2. imogen
3. crazybeautiful

three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. chinese
3. yun lang ata

three things that scare you:
1. muscles
2. daga
3. natural calamities

three of your everyday essentials:
1.lipbalm
2. water
3. cellphone

three of your favorite musical artists:
1. eraserheads
2. alanis morisette
3. usher

your favorite songs
1. she will be loved
2. let's stay together
3. kiss from a rose
4. ang huling el bimbo
5. barely breathing

three things you want in a relationship:
1. security
2. respect
3. trust

three lies and one truth in no particular order:
1. i don't find kevin federline cute
2. i love kris aquino
3. i love avocado
4. i'm a good singer

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. legs
2. neck
3. nunal