SATC

Sex and the City: bye

finished the 6th and final season of sex and the city last sunday.wasn't able to write about it kasi nawala sa isip ko..hehe. i cried over (for the first time for SATC) the ick factor and the american girl in Paris part 2..it was swell.. its sad na its over pero they ended it well naman, so ok na din..

jog, who catches the 6th season over their WOWOW channel, agrees with me na super gwapo ni Smith, Samantha's new boyfriend! he's super sexy and he shaved his head... (i like kalbos eh)

jason lewis (kalbo)

jason lewis (satc)



and i like harry, charlotte's really lucky to have him.

i'm really careful about writing about it kasi don't want to ruin the excitement for those who haven't watched it..

and Miranda's like the jealous friend we have, or we ourselves are..in a good way though.

Berger reminded me of my ex boyfriend, (he writes well too-my ex) i wondered tuloy if all writers are like that..hehe

and Carrie everybody's favorite wore the best outfits and the i-wish-i-have-that shoes!
she deserved only the best...even the best man for for her.

TIVO- Miranda has it, Oprah has it...hope magkaron na din dito PINAS!!

CINDERELLA STORY

i passed by Robinson's Place Manila (as i always do) and checked out if it's still shown, well..hindi na!Jog and i we're planning to watch it pa naman sana on Friday..tsk tsk tsk..

i love lizzie maguire,( i mean hillary duff) and super cutie pie si Chad Murray! Dawson Creek days pa..kaya sana we'll be able to catch it.

HTML

hay naku, still learning and researching about it...
hirap tlga.
kaya tignan nyo yung link ko, hindi maganda!hmp!
but i'll read more about it..

BEING A STUDENT

well.kanina lng ako nag research finally, for our project due next tues..cramming is the best policy..hehe

and kanina while waiting for jen,realized na dami ko pa defeciences and i'm graduating!
i have to complete my Nat Sci 2 subject and hopefully my PE 4! or else mag swimming ako next sem!nyaiks!!!!
sana matapos ko sya...

and there's this EP thing pa na kailangan complete or else hindi din me graduate!
arrrrrgggggghhh!


thanks to ala and bianca! they allowed me to link them..sana si saab reply na din..

UCC coffee

ate out tonight with my mom and dad. feeling only child!hehehe

we ate at UCC coffee at Valero st. Makati.

i had their seafood salad, and had their banana chocolate smoothie! it was delightful!
i've been having a chocolate and ice cream craving...maybe its becuase im not eatin rice for a month now.im on a diet, and i've lost weight, 10 pounds already and im very happy to fit in most of my clothes now!

gtg, im learning html..hehe

too much that i can't handle

well, jog and i talked last night.
actually, it was midnight so, early this morning.
after what felt like 3 weeks of not talking, (we both say that) we're really crazy.

we didn't really talked about it.
i just told him what happend to me and my whole day,
we talked about SATC's last season, and how much i love smith,how i cried over a few episodes for the first time, and how my midterms were.

he actually told me some things that i should remember,it helped a little but at the back of my mind, i still have doubts.

i know we love each other,but i'm not sure if we are ready for the consequences of loving each other and how we can show each other that we mean it when we say "i love you". i'm not sure if i can be as bold as i was before and take that leap, even if i know that in the end it will hurt.

i just feel lost in love.

it seems that no matter how much he would explain, and how much i believe him, i couldn't gamble anymore (as i used to,in matter of the heart). i'm getting old.

and here i am, trying to figure out what i should do.
i think i've been here before and i think he shouldnt make me go through this again..

to be happy and be a martyr or to be alone and alone

in a rut

it's midterms week, im in my last exam tomorrow.
and there's nothing i'm looking forward to this week..
last week i had, because jog and i had plans..
but now, i don't know...

we argued about the same things all over again last night.
partly my fault, because we've talked about this a million times already, agreed upon a solution but still i can't seem to understand.

i just can't accept the fact that the best reason he could give me is "sorry, i can't"
and even if we say we're in a relationship, that we are happy, it could only take one phone call, a text or a chat that could ruin it all.

i love him. very much. but even if i say this to myself over and over and over again, it still doesn't make a difference on how i feel or think...

Pangga (jen, his sister who's also my closest friend) said it best...
"there are a million and 1 reason why you should not continue on this battle but it there's one reason why you should...its because you love him.."

and it hurts big time!
we agreed not to talk, until i've made up my mind. i don't know if i could live with that...
i'm so used to talking to him all the time...(very dependent i know)

it hurts that we're like this now, that we could be the sweetest looking couple then the not-talking-for-a-week couple the next..

we're happy,i'm happy,i love him,he loves me, and i cant believe we're messed up because of that tiny detail!

and for the first time in the history of my relationships i don't blame it on him..i mean i dont put all the blame on the guy...

i'm just hoping for the best..

this shall all past......

renewal of vows....

we got it from dino guevarra and kim delos santos on 30 days, actually it was jog's idea.kasi sya naman nakapanood.

for the week of july 19-24 we were always fighting on the phone. i dont know if i was PMS-ing, basta we would always sleep na masama loob. reasons would be because he said something that i didn't like, or he says a joke and mapipikon ako.like that, and it was tiring. the only good thing (also bad actually) is we would patch up agad,like the next day and we wouldn't talk about it na lng, we say sorry but we dont discuss it na lng.

and so friday comes and my then si jai my ex gave me this cd, sympre naman any bf wouldnt be happy. mejo tampo pala sya when i was singing one of the songs in the cd, yung kay carole king, you're so far away...

saturday
since wednesday,when i recieved a text message from my friend ate jp who invited me to our friend jp's bday on saturday,(another jp) i've been planning not to go,but then i got a call from the celebrator himself (who's a very good friend,and considers me a woman after his heart) i changed plans.

the plan of going on his birthday..i didn't inform jog pala...that night, he called and was really mad..

jog: alis ka na?
kaye: hindi mamaya pa
jog: ah tlga, kanino ka nagpaalam?
kaye: (silence) (takot me) ah, (stutter) di ba sinabi ko na sayo
jog: (interrupts) wala kang sinabi sa kain na tutuloy ka
kaye: kwento ko na sayo di ba na nagusap kami...
jog:oo pero ang sabi mu ayaw mo pumunta at makipag plastikan sa kanila
kaye: oo nga pero nung tumawag si jp di ba naawa naman ako...
jog: bahala ka..sige na magbabasketball ako,wala ako dala cell

and so,officially he was mad.

it was raining hard, and i have'nt finished doing the laundry, so i got into thinking...
sa totoo, takot talaga ako kay jog, specially when i talked to pangga,his sister jen, and she told me, jog was really mad and asked her kung nagsabi ako sa kanya (kay jen) even their mom said " ay naku ging,sabihan mu si kikay,alam mu naman yang si jog sawain"

i got my phone, texted ate jp, made up and excuse that my parents didn't allow me to go becuase of the rain. and i knew jp would understand. besides, anu ba naman yung si jen and tonet na lng friend ko,basta ma bf!" hehehe

when he got home from basketball, i called and told him i stayed home.
JOG: mabuti naman.

and then that night they had to leave because their uncle died.they had to go to bulacan.

i was hoping that night, its over.the fight.

MONDAY

He told me he was really pikon last saturday, and he really wanted to ask me kung gusto ko pa tuloy relationship namin, because we were fighting the whole week, with really babaw things.

he also said he felt bad, because i was singing the song jai gave me last friday..

and so monday we kissed and made up

and wednesday he gave me flowers..

kaya when we talked on the phone, i told him..renewal of vows week ba?
and kasi we were planning to watch pa catwoman (which is a very lousy movie) on thursday pa...and that's how the title began..hehe

we're really crazzy!

NOTE:
Actually, this all happend before "MY FIRST FLOWER".
i didnt have internet account at that time kaya, ayun...now ko lng na post.hehe

MY FIRST FLOWER

i remember having this converstion with my good friend Larcy, during our boyfriend-less days,well it still is for Larcy (hehe) she asked me if anyone from my ex's gave me flowers?

and then i looked back from bf #1,bf #2..."wala pa" i followed it up by "eh kasi naman, i don't like flowers, i mean of course they are nice pero, if it will be given by my boyfriend or a suitor, i wouldn't appreciate it..para kasing feeling ko tamad na sya to think of something to give me,its very usual na for a guy to give flowers..mas ma-appreciate ko pa pag food!" That was 2 years ago..

well, i've been very careful and afraid to say how i really feel with my relationship with jog..i mean when other people ask or sometimes even to myself, i don't assess our relationship as too good nor too bad..with my past relationships, and i guess everyone could relate, you would like to think that that relationship you're in presently will be " it ". and now that i'm into one again, looking through my history of past relationships, i've had 2 false alarms already, the first one was the guy my mom loves and the second with the so brilliant guy, i'm so afraid to even hope that this is it..whenever it crosses my mind, imediately want to erase it!

but i guess denying myself with the truth doesnt help either..

jog has been amazing all these time (i didn't an use exact time frame,because we're cray and we don't have an official "date/monthsary/anniversary) he's been all that and more, i see his efforts in making my family like him,he's been good to my friends (esp. tonet my jowa), he makes time for me, for us, he says sorry when he feels its his fault, he still says sorry even if its my mistake,he's very patient with me, he puts up with my craziness and although he seldom says " i love you " amazingly i can feel that he does..he shows me..so, officially today, i'm wishing (cause i dont think hoping works anymore) that this, our relationship will come far.
so anyways,back to the title of my blog..

i was out with my very good friend JP,we had lunch, coffee, long chats, and ice cream! (cause i just had my braces adjusted and it hurts like hell) earlier that morning while having our usual good morning talk on the phone, he asked what time i'll be finished with my "chismisan" with JP, i said, i'll behome by 230. then he said that he'll be driving for his father and he might drop by later..of course i said "sure, just text me when you're on your way na"

and so, at 430 my phone vibrated and read "nsan ka n? ppnta na kme jan!" i told JP we have to go na,coz the bf is dropping by the house. i hurriedly took the fx ride, then he again txtd "dto na kmi!tsk! wala pa tao sa bhay nyo!" i replied "w8 lng,hi way na me, sbi k kc txt me pag ppunta na kau"
i saw their car parked, saw his cute nephew Sir Wendrick, and his dad. when i walked toward them, i called Sir Wendrick and asked for a kiss, then i apologized and then asked Sir his favorite pasalubong from me.."Sir, gusto mu ba ng Moo?" Pa-good boy answer "Opo!" then i took his hand and then we walked towards our gate, and just as we were near our house, Sir called out "Pangga!Pangga!B-lak,B-laklak galing Jog" and there..i saw in our plant box, long stemmed Stargazers! i could feel my smile reached my ears...

its the first time ive recieved flowers from a guy..from my bf..and according to jog its his first time giving a girl flowers..wow first timers!hehehe
its such a wonderful,crazy feeling.
actually, babaeng babae feeling ko, im officially a lady..
and everyday i take pictures of it like it was surveyed..
i miss blogging!wala kasi internet, and sobrang kuripot me to buy for myself. too much saving!hehehe
i missed reading saab, ala, and bianca's blog tuloy!
anyway, catched up ion them na.

im back?!

i'm back.and this is for good.i hope.post again tomorrow.