Cleaning out my closet

While cleaning, I saw my second year report card. The only high school report card that I’m proud of. The lowest grade I got was 80, of course, from Math.

It gave back a lotta high school memories. From biology to boys. Jansport…Cattleya notebooks….beeper…

It also gave me the thought of if I only knew about…I should have…

Like, if I only took studying seriously I could have been one of those who had merit cards every after quarter. I should have not been pressured to have a boyfriend or had better judgment on whether I could deal with having a boyfriend or not.

I’m a person who does not like regretting things, but I must admit I do have some regrets on how I dealt with things when I was in high school. I see my sister, who had just graduated from high school and I see how she have been active on extra-curricular activities and that she’s going to study in the University she likes. I was very apprehensive to join school activities, I didn’t like being “pabibo” or being labeled as such.

Why do I regret?

I was not able to pass on ALL the universities I tried to get into. I remembered being one of the few who didn’t get into the course and school that they wanted. I remember the heartbreak I caused my parents and the disappointment I gave my younger sibs. I remember being so down, I thought of not going to college. The desperation and the emotional stress it gave my family and me.

And it doesn’t end with that. When I was able to enroll myself on a Computer School and took up a Computer engineering course, just when I thought I had it all figured out. I failed most of my major subjects. I knew what was wrong, besides not understanding Calculus; I knew this was not what I wanted. I was at a crossroads on whether to finish my course or go back to what I really want.

But I am blessed. I am blessed to have a supporting and loving family who was there to pick up the pieces with me. I am loved unconditionally, because never did I hear them blame me or say I am not good enough. Instead, they worried about how I felt and they tried to not make me worry about it. It was a tough experience but having a family like mine makes it not so painful.

So I transferred and shifted to the course I first loved, and started all over again.

On April 15, I am going to be one of the millions of Graduates of 2005. I have survived. Even if I have some regrets, I know that I will not be the person that I am today without all those wrong judgments and choices. It’s so cliché but the best lessons I’ve learned is from these experiences.

Lesson of this story: Never let anyone, even yourself, be defined by the mistakes you committed. Instead, gracefully pick up the pieces and continue to strive to be the best.

Gluttony

Yesterday, I was able to clean our room. Salamat. But I haven’t organized our desk and my cabinet. I still have today and tomorrow.

We did Stations of the cross last night and had a late night dinner at our favorite Wai Ying. If you love dimsum and Chinese food, Wai Ying’s the place to be.hehe The prices are reasonable and delicious. I love Hakaw, that’s shrimp dumpling, their siomai is great. Before I always have their roasted duck with rice, but the duck fat sometimes gets so rich for my palate. My brother loves their Asado rice, my sister always orders their Mixed Congee and my Dad loves their Soy Chicken Mami. If you’re wondering where this is, it’s in Binondo. It’s a small place but we always find it always packed with people who love eating as much as my family does.

My family loves dining out, well eating is really the best word. Our delicious finds ranges from the best bulalo to the best mango pudding. But really, our family eating and that usually makes up our family time.

Sosings – it’s a carinderia at Vito Cruz Manila. For those who know Cash and Carry might know this place where the best Filipino meals are served. They have the best Caldereta, that even if I don’t like spicy foods I appreciated it.

Becky’s Kitchen – I think a lot has discovered this shop. It’s also in Vito Cruz, they have the best Walnut Brownies, food for the gods, tarts, and they’ve got it. If you have a sweet tooth, you better head here. During Christmas, as early as November, orders pile up, it’s hard to make reservations and order ahead, you usually have to go there early in the morning to make sure you can get your goodies for they run out early.

Don Henrico’s – my family’s favorite is their Buffalo Chicken, when they started out it was Buffalo Chicken, but they’ve changed it, and I guess to give customers the choice cuts of the chicken they would like.

Shopwise’s Ensaymada –the yummiest and would you belive they sell this mini ensaymada’s for 49.50 for 6! My brother can finish the a whole box in a minute.

Sugar Cane Juice and Soy Milk – you know Tubo? We know this store in Ongpin that sells the Tubo juice. You could actually see it as they take the tubo in the machine (a juicer, I suppose) that takes out the juice and the tubo comes out flat. We buy and I think it’s the best soy milk, in Wai Ying. The soy milk has texture and I think that makes it yummier.

Hungry Pac and Kookie Corner- I’m not really a chocolate fan, but when my mom bought home a chocolate cake form cookie corner, I was a convert. It’s not too sweet, just has the right chocolatey flavor. Hungry Pac, also has their own yummy Chocolate cake you wouldn’t mind taking another slice.

Belgian Waffle – At Starbucks of course, my favorite syrup is caramel. Before I liked strawberry, but when my friend Jen ordered caramel, I found it to be the best partner of coffee. My dad loves chocolate of course, but what he loves the best is the whipped cream.

Talaba- when I was growing up, we would go to cavite and have fresh talaba. Oysters, if you don’t know talaba. Oysters could actually give you a bad stomach once not eaten fresh or served right. It’s best to eat it with vinegar, as it slightly cooks it. I love oysters. And just last year, as we discovered Market Market, we also discovered Marina at their food court. They serve fresh oysters, and a bucket is only P150. My sister and I could finish a bucket for dinner.

Actually, these are just a few of my family’s food favorites. I might have forgotten to write the others. But really, having to share good food and conversation that makes these special to my family and me.

tap on my window, knock on my door,wanna make you feel beautiful....

i haven't gone to my ojt. if there's one thing i've progressed, it's my reading five people you meet in heaven..i'm reading the "second person eddie meets in heaven"

i'm lost..i just saw my old wallet, being used by my brother...without PERMISSION...Is that so hard to do???? i know that's where most of siblings fight like toddlers. arrgh!

anyways, we'll be spending this week at home. and i think it's a great idea, since most people will go out of town and the best places to go to this week will be crowded of the whole city's population..so, why waste time and money when you will not be able to relax and enjoy?

i'm planning to declutter our room, organize my cabinet and throw the things that i won't be needing next school year, since this is the last! (hurray!) i'm planning to change sheets, make labels for my books,keep nov-dec issues of my magazines,maybe bake some cake, have a friends marathon,and have siesta! haaaaaaaaay!

and, catch up on my reading pala! i hope my sister will be able to buy me chalk march issue. i can't wait for the april issue of 17, Anne and Paolo will be on the cover..hehe. i think i'll never ever grow up on that part...

hope everyone will have a peaceful and fun week! wherever you're planning to go...
be safe everyone!!

happy birthday to me!

thanks for everyone who remembered!

alam niyo naman na i take note of those who greet me on my birthday. hehe. kababawan. salamat! your greetings made this day more special.

jog came over and gave a me a green v-necked blouse plus a kiss! hehehe

later, my mom ordered food for dinner and basically my birthday was spent here lang sa house. it was my choice, and besides, the important people in my life were present. except for tonet, who couldn't make it because her it's also her cousin's graduation.

i was not able to hear mass, but i know HE knows how grateful i am to spend another year with my family and friends. life has been good to me, if it has given me tough situations, it has also showered me with blessings like a loving family,friends who take me for me,a great guy for a bf,happiness,love,humility,good health and peace. also the material things that also matter to me (hehe) but not as much as the blessings i've mentioned.

and my wishes: i want a lot of things i want to happen this year...

• i wish to be able to read more books on my to read list
• i wish for new and more shoes and bags if its not too much...hehe
• i wish for continued happiness
• i wish for peace..hehe world peace
• i wish for enlightenment...for me to be able to decide on which path to take
• i wish for my family and friends' good health

CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

I don’t know why, but I might be known in High school as the girl who had a lot of friends. no, not the type who was friends with everyone. I had new set of Friends almost every year, but those who I’ve treasured are those who I still see every now and then. And I think it’s a good way of emotional exercise (if there is such a thing) to keep in touch with your friends, esp. your high school friends.

I got an unexpected text from my good friend Joy, we were supposed to see each other in our friend’s despida, but because of my thesis I wasn’t able to come. Here’s her text : Hi kaye! Kagagaling ko lang sa party ni romi, ewan ko ba bakit kita naisip kanina pa.hay, I juz realize some things kc yung situation k andami kong naging close nung HS but only a few talaga yung tingin ko na magsstay.kaye, alam ko na hindi nman tayo kabonded lately pro ewan ikaw yung naisiip ko na 1friend from HS na gsto ko makasama for a long tym.pls stay kaye.i wana share my life with you..andrama noh..wala lang..J mahal kita.

And no, she’s not lesbian. Her text may just sound like that. hehe but really, I appreciated that Joy sees me like that. When friends like joy and actually all my HS friends (they are the best), it makes me feel that at least I’ve done well. And makes me want to pay it forward. And this entry is for my friends who have accepted me as the crazy little woman that I am.

To Nina – who keeps us all laughing. Who never runs out of her funny antics and punch lines. The friend I had to share the whole summer before college with on the phone, talking about pancit canton and not having a school.

To Jen – who inspires me to be the best person. Who taught me the art of being nice to people who aren’t not so nice and you don’t like. And I wouldn’t forget the time when I thought the whole world will judge me, the first thing that she said was “so,how are you?”

To Florida- the one that insipires all of us and makes us all say “wow” and “amazing”. With all that she has achieved. She taught us that perseverance and hard work pays off.

To Vanessa – the one who’s always demanding with gimiks, the one who never fails to amaze us with her sometimes deadma reaction. And the one who’s giving us the first baby of the barkada.

To Dang – not much to say about dang, aside from always not being able to give us gifts on Christmas, she really does not belong in the group. hehe joke lang dang!

To Gian- my best friend of almost 8 years, she’s just the best when it comes to hearing me out and laughing at my stupid jokes. The best friend everyone would wish to have.

To Anne- the girl who always smiles even when there’s no reason. The girl with the shampoo commercial hair. Anne has been always matiyaga to plan out our get togethers and drives for us in our gimiks

To Romi- who has been a part of my life since Grade 6, we might have lost touch bt just like gian, we could pick it off from where we left it. I know that even if we have not been able to communicate lately, I know she considers me a friend and so do i.

To joy- who inspired me to write all this, if you’ll be able to read this, im sorry I wrote ur message here without your permission. And be assured that I’ll always be here no matter what.

To Pam- the bestfriend I thought I lost. and now the mommy of my inaanak aiken. She has been a friend for 7 years now, and when she said that she’s getting me as her first born’s god mother, I was touched. That made me realize how much she still values our friendship.

To Jho – the funniest gal I’ve ever met, next to Niña of course. She speaks her mind, and tells you as it is. The kind of an honest friend you sometimes don’t want to have.


College buddies:

To Tonet- my tiborcia jowa. I love you for being the kind, understanding, and supportive friend that you are to me. I thank you for your friendship and goodness you’ve shared with my bf and me. My days in EAC were not wasted because of your company.

To Larcy- I know I may sometimes forget that you are the first friend I had in EAC. But I hope you know that I’ll always be grateful for the friendship we have and if there’s one person I know who will listen when I talk, and only give advice when I ask to, its you. So thank you for being the audience I’ve always wanted to have.

To Jeline- whom I only got to be close lately, thanks to thesis. Thanks for the don’t call just text help and only a few people have gained my respect and one of those is you. Thanks for the friendship. You will not be forgotten.

To Gaiety- ang babaeng N.R. I’m happy that we’ve been able to get close before this year ended and I treasure the moments we had, specially when we got to talk. Also, thanks for listening to my yakking din.

To Froilan- the only rose among the thorns.. Froilan is the kind of person you would want to be on your side..mahirap kaaway si froilan that’s why I’m lucky to be her friend! I will miss you as soon as school starts for you and work for me!


And I would just want to end this entry by again, thanking everyone who’s been part of my life. For the memories and things you’ve taught me. I wouldn’t be who I am today if our paths didn’t crossed.

I can only wish for each and everyone’s happiness, and i hope we can keep the friendship that we share...

when older doesn't mean wiser..

so, my birthday's coming up. it would be a very happy event if my family and friends will share the day with me.

i've been not celebrating my birthday for two years now, aside from my being kuripot, nobody that i know really exerted effort for me on my birthday.aside from greeting, although greetings are good enough for me, no one has ever made me feel extra special on this extra special day. no i'm not asking you to pity me. this past two years have been not a "happy" birthday. even if i choose to be happy, i think its natural that i feel sad that this happens/ that i feel this way on my birthday.

so anyway, enough of the drama... i just hope this year would be different from the other two years.

i don't want to say how old i am, and if you know, please don't say it to me... i already know so much.

with that number, i should be working like all of my highschool batchmates, and if i was working, i should have all the money i need and buy all the shoes that i would want and can afford. i could have shared paying the bills, i could be paying for my cellphone bill, and maybe i could afford that much needed and deserved summer getaway.

i should be, but i'm not. and i guess it would be too late to have regrets and blame it on my bad judgement. but hey, i'm happy and i've learned from those things. and i think that's what's important. although what i've learned doesn't really make me "wiser", i know there's so much for me to learn. but definitely i choose better now.i hope.:)

i have two other friends who's celebrating their bdays this month, actually, this is a belated happy birthday to my two best pals, Pam and Jenny!!! i hope both of you had a great day yesterday! cheers!

hitch

i know...everybody has seen it.

it was only last night that jog and i watched the movie. and it was funny and educational.

i was telling jog that in the heirarchy of fictional romantic men, Noah (the notebook) tops the list, Dr.Hitches is next on that list..hehehe

we had dinner at the foodcourt of sm manila. my friends and i have been raving about Magic Wok for over a week now. and i told them, jog would love their food. and for those who loves rice toppings, i would definitely recommend for you to try Magic Wok.

Lemme write!

Just when I have the inspiration to write again, surf maxx wouldn’t cooperate. Again, just as I was about to write an error message popped so I decided to write it on word muna, And when I have been able to write 2 paragraphs straight, our pc shuts down. And I haven’t saved it! Syet.

Last week has been a tough week, aside from my emotional drama, our thesis was due for defense. It was on a Monday, March 7 when we had to defend our study. And just when we all thought we were doing the right thing, just because it was not the traditional thesis, like what 4th years do every year in our school, one of the panelists said, we had to do it again. And yes, I cursed him to hell after that. We’ve been through all-nighters for a week for that thesis, just because they couldn’t understand T-test and our statistical data, it was wrong? If a statistician was present or a teacher from the Math department was there, it could have been a different story. But anyways, god is good and so, Mrs. Bionesta (our savior) said we just had to make minor revisions and it will all be good. And as of this writing, I have to make a dedication and we are to have it book bind. Salamat.

This week, is finals week. By the way, Nat Sci 2 is giving me sleepless nights. I’m so scared I might not be able to graduate because of that subject. Finals week for most of my school mates but its OJT cramming for me. I have to make up 30 hours for print and 45 hours for radio. Wish me luck.

I was able to unwind last Friday with good friends and the man who relaxes me…I’m loving love moves now both Nina and MYMP’s version, but Jlo’s new single is hot!

I haven’t progressed on The five People you meet in heaven, haven’t had the time. Hope after this week, I’ll be able to find time. Jog finished Catcher in the Rye na, when in fact we both started reading the books at the same time. I’ve created a monster! Hehe

So there, hope everyone’s doing well!

when it all falls down

its been a while since i last wrote..a lotta things happened, up until last night when i felt, ugh...this is too much..

i'd rather not go into details but it reminds me of the time in highschool, when my "friends" all got mad at me, and they turned my bestfriend into their side and got mad at me for reasons that i lied to her daw and i didnt tell it to her face whenever i get tampo, or when she gets tampo always and i couldnt understand why she gets like that.

its frustrating and i get hurt when people i consider friends do things like this. na parang, our friendship is defined with the time we spent together and when i call them, yun lang ba? i mean even if we don't talk, my bestfriend gian lives far north, its just recently they got a phone line again and a cellphone, and now that we could actually talk, she has work na. but i dont get mad that we dont have time together, or she does not have the time, the beauty of our friendship is when we get together, it feels like its not been years since we last talked. we could pick it up where we left it..

another thing, its hurtful when you think your friend should know you better, and yet, when shit happens and you are in the that shitty sitation the blame is on you, before you conclude or blame it to someone else, a friend would think "she cannot possibly do a thing like this"

i think what hurts the most is when FRIENDS do this to you. i don't have to say ive been a good friend, i know im not perfect but i know i wouldnt do something like this to a friend.

and when such a thing like this happens to the people you love, it's bad that they seem to blame it on you.

basta, today, i learned the real meaning of family and friends.

and if ive been thankful and proud of my boyfriend, much more now.

this shall all past, and i hope things would get better for everyone.