Cleaning out my closet

While cleaning, I saw my second year report card. The only high school report card that I’m proud of. The lowest grade I got was 80, of course, from Math.

It gave back a lotta high school memories. From biology to boys. Jansport…Cattleya notebooks….beeper…

It also gave me the thought of if I only knew about…I should have…

Like, if I only took studying seriously I could have been one of those who had merit cards every after quarter. I should have not been pressured to have a boyfriend or had better judgment on whether I could deal with having a boyfriend or not.

I’m a person who does not like regretting things, but I must admit I do have some regrets on how I dealt with things when I was in high school. I see my sister, who had just graduated from high school and I see how she have been active on extra-curricular activities and that she’s going to study in the University she likes. I was very apprehensive to join school activities, I didn’t like being “pabibo” or being labeled as such.

Why do I regret?

I was not able to pass on ALL the universities I tried to get into. I remembered being one of the few who didn’t get into the course and school that they wanted. I remember the heartbreak I caused my parents and the disappointment I gave my younger sibs. I remember being so down, I thought of not going to college. The desperation and the emotional stress it gave my family and me.

And it doesn’t end with that. When I was able to enroll myself on a Computer School and took up a Computer engineering course, just when I thought I had it all figured out. I failed most of my major subjects. I knew what was wrong, besides not understanding Calculus; I knew this was not what I wanted. I was at a crossroads on whether to finish my course or go back to what I really want.

But I am blessed. I am blessed to have a supporting and loving family who was there to pick up the pieces with me. I am loved unconditionally, because never did I hear them blame me or say I am not good enough. Instead, they worried about how I felt and they tried to not make me worry about it. It was a tough experience but having a family like mine makes it not so painful.

So I transferred and shifted to the course I first loved, and started all over again.

On April 15, I am going to be one of the millions of Graduates of 2005. I have survived. Even if I have some regrets, I know that I will not be the person that I am today without all those wrong judgments and choices. It’s so cliché but the best lessons I’ve learned is from these experiences.

Lesson of this story: Never let anyone, even yourself, be defined by the mistakes you committed. Instead, gracefully pick up the pieces and continue to strive to be the best.