well, jog and i talked last night.
actually, it was midnight so, early this morning.
after what felt like 3 weeks of not talking, (we both say that) we're really crazy.
we didn't really talked about it.
i just told him what happend to me and my whole day,
we talked about SATC's last season, and how much i love smith,how i cried over a few episodes for the first time, and how my midterms were.
he actually told me some things that i should remember,it helped a little but at the back of my mind, i still have doubts.
i know we love each other,but i'm not sure if we are ready for the consequences of loving each other and how we can show each other that we mean it when we say "i love you". i'm not sure if i can be as bold as i was before and take that leap, even if i know that in the end it will hurt.
i just feel lost in love.
it seems that no matter how much he would explain, and how much i believe him, i couldn't gamble anymore (as i used to,in matter of the heart). i'm getting old.
and here i am, trying to figure out what i should do.
i think i've been here before and i think he shouldnt make me go through this again..
to be happy and be a martyr or to be alone and alone
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
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hi!
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