He’s just not into you
I’ve come to know the book when I watched an episode of Oprah. I believe the authors were writers from Sex and the City the series. Author 1 is a guy, and Author 2 is a woman. (I’m sorry; I’m just really bad with names) The book was about dating, so Oprah featured the book, and let the author talk to the women who particularly, for some reason painstakingly clings on to men they have dated, who are just not interested and how women don’t seem to notice. Even though that I am in a relationship right now, I found that episode educational.
I think we, women are generally so obsessive and very meticulous with dating and relationships. We always “decode” what men mean when they say things. Just like when he says, “I had a good time”, we immediately think of, is it good –wonderful? Just plain good? Or was he just being polite? We spend hours and hours with our girlfriends trying to figure out what they said and what they did. For all we know, good simply means good, period. I think this also goes with how men see us so complicated. Because men, usually tells it as it is. So when they say, “I had a good time” it only means one thing, he had a good time, period. There is NO code!!!
Another problem that I see is that, we always seem to find all the excuses for the men we date, the men we are with, or even just the potential date/partner. We always try to see their unreasonable actions good enough for us. When in fact, we should be treated the way we care, or even better. Like when they don’t return your calls, or when they don’t open the door for you, or when they just act natural, like jerks.
Author 1, was the most effective writer for such book because he’s giving the women the guys point of view, which we don’t usually get from our girlfriends. (Although not all, well, still there are some of us. no offense) Author 1 was telling the audience, if he doesn’t call after the first date, it simply means “he’s just not into you”. Because we women, always, when this happens puts the blame on our selves. Whether the lipstick we used on the date, our hips, or the way we walk, we always blame ourselves. We always see this as our failure, when in fact it is not. When a man you had a date with, doesn’t call back the next day, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it simply means, just like what the authors of the book said, HE’S JUST NOT INTO YOU.
So, WHY? I can only think that we, women always have illusions every so often that this guy may just be busy he hasn’t called for a month already, or some are so patient that they wait and wait, until she sees the guy with another girl. Or are some of us just masochists? Is it because we have high standards or we just don’t know our worth?
I always tell this to friends and my sister, we have different tastes. Especially men in this case, We may be the most beautiful woman, may have the most silky straight hair, have the longest legs and the sexiest body ever, but we may not be the type of girl the guy we like is looking for.
So why waste your time on someone who will not appreciate YOU. When he does not call after the first date, be easy on yourself and know that there’s nothing wrong with you. Lastly, and the most important thing about dating, KNOW YOUR WORTH.
DISCLAIMER: I haven’t read the book, I’ve just watched the episode when they featured the book, so don’t take my word for it, maybe you can check out the book, if you need to. And some of the contents of this entry come from personal experiences, and just my thoughts. Thanks. And by the way, I don’t hate men, I may sound like I am with this entry, but I don’t. Thanks again.
I’ve come to know the book when I watched an episode of Oprah. I believe the authors were writers from Sex and the City the series. Author 1 is a guy, and Author 2 is a woman. (I’m sorry; I’m just really bad with names) The book was about dating, so Oprah featured the book, and let the author talk to the women who particularly, for some reason painstakingly clings on to men they have dated, who are just not interested and how women don’t seem to notice. Even though that I am in a relationship right now, I found that episode educational.
I think we, women are generally so obsessive and very meticulous with dating and relationships. We always “decode” what men mean when they say things. Just like when he says, “I had a good time”, we immediately think of, is it good –wonderful? Just plain good? Or was he just being polite? We spend hours and hours with our girlfriends trying to figure out what they said and what they did. For all we know, good simply means good, period. I think this also goes with how men see us so complicated. Because men, usually tells it as it is. So when they say, “I had a good time” it only means one thing, he had a good time, period. There is NO code!!!
Another problem that I see is that, we always seem to find all the excuses for the men we date, the men we are with, or even just the potential date/partner. We always try to see their unreasonable actions good enough for us. When in fact, we should be treated the way we care, or even better. Like when they don’t return your calls, or when they don’t open the door for you, or when they just act natural, like jerks.
Author 1, was the most effective writer for such book because he’s giving the women the guys point of view, which we don’t usually get from our girlfriends. (Although not all, well, still there are some of us. no offense) Author 1 was telling the audience, if he doesn’t call after the first date, it simply means “he’s just not into you”. Because we women, always, when this happens puts the blame on our selves. Whether the lipstick we used on the date, our hips, or the way we walk, we always blame ourselves. We always see this as our failure, when in fact it is not. When a man you had a date with, doesn’t call back the next day, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it simply means, just like what the authors of the book said, HE’S JUST NOT INTO YOU.
So, WHY? I can only think that we, women always have illusions every so often that this guy may just be busy he hasn’t called for a month already, or some are so patient that they wait and wait, until she sees the guy with another girl. Or are some of us just masochists? Is it because we have high standards or we just don’t know our worth?
I always tell this to friends and my sister, we have different tastes. Especially men in this case, We may be the most beautiful woman, may have the most silky straight hair, have the longest legs and the sexiest body ever, but we may not be the type of girl the guy we like is looking for.
So why waste your time on someone who will not appreciate YOU. When he does not call after the first date, be easy on yourself and know that there’s nothing wrong with you. Lastly, and the most important thing about dating, KNOW YOUR WORTH.
DISCLAIMER: I haven’t read the book, I’ve just watched the episode when they featured the book, so don’t take my word for it, maybe you can check out the book, if you need to. And some of the contents of this entry come from personal experiences, and just my thoughts. Thanks. And by the way, I don’t hate men, I may sound like I am with this entry, but I don’t. Thanks again.
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