my demand of a beautiful love story

Last night while having the usual phone conversation-before-we-go-to-sleep with my boyfriend, we looked back, a little flashback on the things that happened before it became “us”. So we went from asaran to me being pikon. I was, ok, insisting that he liked me that night I stayed at their house, while he said no, he was just being nice. And so I thought if that’s what he says he did, then maybe I just pushed this whole relationship with him. I mean, if I hadn’t admitted to Jen, her sister that I liked him, and if I had not talked to him consistently on the phone for days at that time, and had I been honest that I had a bf, (yes that time I had, but believe me that’s another story) it could have not been together.

That night, because of that crazy realization, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean, to the extent of saying, I wasn’t sure if this is what I wanted. I know, its really mababaw and good thing, jog is really patient and hindi na niya ako pinatulan.

I’m sorry, and its really mababaw, and childish. But the reason why I was upset about it, is because all along I thought we had a cute, romantic, funny love story I could share to those who would mind to know how we got together, and of course, if this was for keeps, something I could tell my kids and grandchildren. (I know very fast forward) and maybe even if things wouldn’t work for us, I know ours is a great love story and I would still tell my kids about it.

In my past relationships, I didn’t have that. And from the start of this relationship, I thought we had that love story I wanted, kaya nga I thought this was really different. And just like that, I felt I lost it.

He tried to appease me, but you know naman, whatever he says I wouldn’t believe him kasi at the back of my mind I’ll think that its not sincere and he’s just trying to make me happy and forget about the thoughts I had.

I know its hard to understand, and I know what’s important is now. That I’m happy, we’re happy, and he’s still the same guy I met 11 months ago. Maybe I just couldn’t accept the fact that at the beginning the feeling was not mutual.

P.S.
we're not talking. he's really mad na.

and zuv is back!